Me To You

I love Judy’s dad.  He is 86 years old, with a body that doesn’t always cooperate, but a mind that is sharp as a tack.  He loves humor, loves to laugh, and loves to get someone with a funny quip.  He loves his sisters, his two sons and daughter, and their families.  To grandchildren and great grandchildren, he is known as Pawpaw.  He is self-sufficient and at times impatient and stubborn having come from what many say was the greatest generation of Americans.  He was a young child during the Depression, He was a Marine during WWII.

Bill watched his beloved wife, Caroline pass away over a long four years, each year more debilitating than the previous.  Caroline’s last days were painful to watch, not the script you would write in a storybook.  Bill agonized that whole period of time, wept a lot, and would easily weep now if conversation dwells just a bit too much on the one he released to heaven.  Caroline waited on Bill their whole marriage as a dutiful southern wife.   Even though this was part of the culture, Caroline had a servants heart that made her well adapted to serve others.  But the last two or three years of her life, Bill assumed her role and served as faithfully as he could.  It was the most surprising and amazing turn around in my mind because I honestly didn’t think Bill had it in him to do such selfless acts.  That’s when he learned to cook outside of his comfort zone, to bring a glass of water to Caroline’s lips for a drink, or feed her during a meal.  At the end of the day, he and Judy would manage getting her to bed.  When Judy expressed her admiration for all his efforts, Bill simply said, “This is what you do when you’re married.”

Sometime in all this, Bill and I have gotten closer and entered into a Guy Zone, where we joke around, tease one another beyond being Father-in-law and son-in-law, but friends.  We are even closer now since I spent hours with him in a Convenient Care Clinic and later in the Emergency Room on Thanksgiving Day.  I also took him to the doctor’s office the awhile back, so I have been up close and personal with this remarkable man.

Some thirty-seven years ago, Judy’s dad released his daughter to a man who has led her on a journey not for the faint hearted.  I’m sure he has scratched his head many a time trying to figure out what we have been up to all these years.  He has seen us make decisions that defy common reasoning to a man who lived in a different era. 

In spite of all that, he has saved the best for last in extending his love to a daughter who absolutely adores him, and to a son-in-law who reveres him as a special vessel made by the hands of the Great Potter Himself.  It wouldn’t surprise me if Bill lives to be a hundred or more.  He works almost every day in the yard tending to things that need to be done.   Judy or I asked him why he put so much effort in the yard and house, and he said, “If you stop, you die!”  He understands that being retired has to be managed well.

Bill has not only gotten closer to the Lord these past few years, he enjoys much more peace, with grace to love and laugh a lot.  He holds on to some principles that seem outdated in this world of a “me first” mentality.  He believes in hard work, taking responsibility for what you do, being on time, being faithful to your spouse, and what you say, you do.  Don’t see much of that these days.

Tip of my hat to you, Bill.  It’s not that you’ve lived 86 years, it’s who you are, and who you are is pretty dang special!  Now, get out in the yard and do some work!